Journal de la vie extraordinaire

2010-03-23T18:50:00.000+08:00

I want to go back to the days when my sleep was tight and I smile a genuine smile.
Why is this so difficult, I never seem to be able to get you out of me.
And you're not to blame baby, because I was the one who pushed you away.

I keep telling myself, that day will come, the day when my heart doesn't cringe everytime I see your smile, when all I know was, we spent some great time together.
How ironical, good memories are the ones that bring me pain and hurt.
I'm so tired, so tired of pretending that I'm fine.
I'm not used to not having you in my life.
I want this to be over soon.
I want this overwhelming emotion to go far far away, that I don't have to force a smile everytime our eyes met, that I still can tell you how much I adore your smile.

I don't know if you do feel the same way but for me it happens all the time.
There are so many excitement I want to share with you, so much I want to talk about with you.
Why does this got to be so hard and painful to go through?

I don't know anymore.
I miss how we used to be.

I used to feel so excited about life, looking forward to each day, because I knew even if I fail, I got you to fall back on, because you're my pillar of strength and you deal with my emotion so aptly.

What's there to be hyped about now?

A New Beginning

2009-11-10T21:19:00.003+08:00

Give my new blog a new kick!
http://1234candiesavenue.blogspot.com/

You're in my mind, you're in my heart

2009-11-10T01:10:00.003+08:00

I don't know why just seeing photos can actually put me off this bad. Its true what people say picture speaks a thousand words, and in my case, it tears my heart into thousand pieces. Honestly i haven't feel this 'disabled' and vulnerable before. I mean, i actually cried just looking at it and how silly.

Sometimes you never know but the person you love the most can turn out to be the person who hurt you the most. I often asked myself what did I do to deserve that but since it already happened, i just have to accept it and get on with my life, right?

Its funny how i sound so emotional and helpless in one paragraph and be the strong girl again the next. And its funny how one moment i feel like this is the end of the world, but feel like its actually a fresh start the next moment. I guess that's just how life goes. I will try to turn things around and hopefully each day will be better than the previous one. I know its easier said than done, but who says life's ever easy?

A famous quote from a famous person, "When life gets sucky, you just have to suck it up."
Ha ha oh well. My life's never going to be the same anymore and no matter what, i have to learn how to accept changes because really, only through adapting you will pull it through, and of course with the people of your life.

I have been doing a lot of reflection and from today onwards, I have decided to omit the word 'heartache' from my dictionary. I mean, when we see things from the brighter side, we will find out that those are the steps we take to be a better person. We shouldn't be totally dependent on others but sometimes we just forget about it and we fall deep into the trap again. Sometimes things happen when you least expect them and you got hurt by the person you love dearly but you just gotta swallow it and learn to let go. I guess that's just how life can be.

And you, maybe i also have to learn that things already change between us and i hope you're happy with your life. You taught me that life is never a fairytale and thank you for that. I think its time I get on with my life, and leave you behind. But you know i'm going to miss you real bad.

"When life gives you a lemon, you make a lemonade out of it"

2009-11-09T13:50:00.001+08:00

Love - it’s when you feel safe, just being in the person’s arms and that feeling you get when you kiss them. It’s after you’ve had a bad day, and that person is the first person you want to talk to, and when you have good news, they’re the first person you want to tell. It’s thinking about them just when you wake up, and when you go to bed at night, they’re the last thing on your mind. Its when time seems to fly by too quickly when you’re together and you never want to go. Its when no one else can hurt you more, but no one else can make you happier at the same time.

http://www.runawaytrain.tumblr.com/

I just made the stupidest mistake ever

2009-11-09T12:47:00.003+08:00

I know. I know. I know. I know.
I know i'm not supposed to be so selfish.
I know i'm not supposed to feel this way.
I know i'm not supposed to treat everything as if it was last year.
I know things and circumstances have changed.
I know everybody around me changes, some for the better, others for the worse.
I know some people find changes in me as well.
I know i'm supposed to be a little more mature than this.
I know if i lose grip i'd end up like this.

I'm sorry for feeling so selfish, i know its selfish thats why i don't mention what. But i can't help but feel this way. This, is beyond comprehension. I can't even understand myself

2009-11-09T00:28:00.002+08:00

Firstly, i know you have NO whatsoever paper tomorrow and you're enjoying your damn pretty life right now but please stop talking about it, can? Did I tease you when you have papers the next day and i didn't? Screw you.

Secondly, I'm messed up enough i don't need you to add olive oil to the fire and what's wrong with you do you need to SCREAM that way to me? You think i like it that this has to happen this way?? HEY, what did I do, that makes it necessary for you to put on caps lock with exclamation marks all over???

Thirdly, you goddamn know i don't want to talk about this right now BECAUSE HEY DONT YOU KNOW I'M STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF MY O LEVEL ARE ALL OF YOU UNITED TOGETHER PLANNING TO SCREW MY O LEVEL FOR ME HUHHHHHHHH? CANT YOU DAMN BLOODY WAIT UNTIL ITS ALL OVER??

Fourthly, this is like, the thousandth times i'm asking you the same question and you just refuseeee to answer me. CAN U GV ME AN ANS OR NOT? do you think i have nothing better else to do than just sit here and wait for your answer? Go eat your own shit.

Why is the world so annoying today? Or am i just being a sensitive bitch? I don't know screw it. Screw geog. I just feel like lying on my bed and die peacefully. I think its me. I think i just screwed myself.

Thanks A for cheering me up(althou i'm different now yea)
Thanks MTHC for...everything :) iloveyou

It just gets harder and harder each day

2009-11-08T13:49:00.000+08:00

Maybe i should just suck it up.

2009-11-08T01:08:00.003+08:00

Today is never the best day. But i feel a whole lot better after spilling out all my emotions, although i was alone. I can't keep them inside of me anymore it was just so so hard. Even my closest girls dont know what i'm going through because i think its time i face things myself not just to complain and ramble to my friends. It felt good crying out loud, although i still feel painful inside. There are so many things happening in my life, in the most crucial part of my life right now, while i'm still having my O level. I dont know why the more i try to be strong the more unfair things get. I never can cry openly because i don't stay alone and i have to look like i'm fine all the time. But the loneliness allowed me to spill out everything and for once i'm thankful that i was alone. I didn't know it was going to be so tough. Is it because i refuse accept changes or that...what? Is it just me?

arwin i'm really sorry i hung up the call and sorry for making you wait until you fell asleep. i'm sorry.

2009-11-07T13:53:00.002+08:00

What happen to blogger why is it so ugly.

OK anyway these few days i've had my fun and joy now its time to get back to reality. I'm still in the midst of O level haha so okkkk i'm gonna study geog today my aim is to finish food and development and know every single thing about it haha okkkk.

I think there's some major change in my plan i'm gonna ask my parents and see how they think about it. :):) Maybe this one's better though.

Today i learn that for every single thing that i do, the process is more important than the result. Because that's when we learn the most out of the experience. :)

2009-11-06T23:43:00.003+08:00

I don't feel good after the scary taxi ride. Stef isn't here so i'm wondering if she has collapsed? Better give her a call. Oh she's in the toilet. That's the princess warrior. Very slow but steady.

We were outside Cineleisure waiting for taxi and this man just walked past me and exhaled 24dm^3 of smoke right to my face i was so so so disgusted. And everybody there seemed to have a stick between their fingers. Just so you know, yuck ew hoek.

2009-11-05T01:01:00.001+08:00

Maybe i shall sleep and forget about everything.
Maybe when i wake up tomorrow, i'll forget everything.
Like, every single thing. Including screwing up my O level real bad. And...you.

every atom of me, is missing you

2009-11-05T00:26:00.003+08:00

gw nga tau gimana ngejelasin nya tapi kok rasanya sesak banget pas gw sadar kalo kayaknya gw masih suka sama loe dan parahnya lagi gw nga tau mau ngapain soalnya gw nga bisa ngapa2in dan kita emang cuma bisa jadi temen kan tapi kenapa susah banget buat gw untuk nerima semua ini kenapa gw masih suka nangis kalo inget2 dulu, kenapa gw masih bisa sedih banget tiap kali loe ngomong tentang dia? bukannya seharusnya gw uda kebiasaan sekarang dan gw uda harus bisa terima ini sekarang tapi ngak. kenapa rasanya...ngak enak banget? gw tau, tau banget kalo kita itu emang cuma sebatas teman dan selamanya bakal jadi cuma teman tapi kenapaaa, selalu aja gw ngeharapin loe and kangen sama loe. gw masih bisa senyum tiba2 kalo mikirin loe dan dulu, tapi juga nangis tiba2 kalo gw sadar gimana loe uda jadi milik orang lain. kadang2 gw mikir, kalo kita ngak pernah ketemu, kalo kita nga pernah kenal, kalo lu nga pernah ada di hidup gw, mungkin hidup gw bakal jadi beda banget dari sekarang. lebih indah dan lebih jelek juga. mungkin lu nga pernah sadar dan nga bakal pernah tau segimana senangnya gw waktu lu perhatian sama gw dan segala hal yang lu lakuin buat gw. dan mungkin juga lu nga bakal pernah sadar segimana kesel, sedih dan kecewa nya gue pas loe lebih membela cewek itu dari gw, dan loe nga jaga perasaan gw. kadang2 gw ngerasa lu itu orang yg paling menyebalkan seumur hidup sepanjang masa, tapi lu juga satu2nya orang yg bisa buka mata gw, ngajarin gw buat jadi dewasa dan juga ngajarin gw untuk sayang dan ngehargai orang. mungkin terlalu kelebihan dan palsu kalo gw bilang gw cinta sama lu, tapi gw yakin seyakin yakinnya kalo gw itu sayang sama lu. sayang yang dari dulu nga pernah berubah. dulu, lu selalu orang yang bisa gw percaya dan gw tergantung sama lu. gw bisa cerita apa aja ke lu kapan aja, dan mgkn lu ngak sadar, ngedengerin gw sampe lu ketiduran itu hal termanis yg seseorang pernah lakuin buat gw. dan lu tau, waktu kita 'fakum' dan sama sekali kayak orang asing, nga bohong, dunia gw kayak terbalik dan gw nga tau mau ngapain, except scroll up and down screen msn gw berharap lu bakal ngomong sama gw dan kita bakal jadi kayak dulu lagi. sejak pergantian tahun gw uda sadar kalo kita emang nga bakal bisa jadi kayak dulu lagi. gw emang tau kalo semuanya uda berubah. tapi gw masih nga bisa terima dan sampe sekarang, sejujurnya, gw masih nga bisa terima. gw kangen banget masa2 waktu kita bisa ngomong sampe jam 4 pagi, waktu lu nyanyi di telepon, dan gw kangen rasanya berbunga2. ya mungkin skrg kita emang masih teman, tapi lu sadar nga sih, hal2 yg kita omongin uda terbatas banget dan sekarang uda nga ada lagi hey kita ngomong dari sore sampe pagi. dan nga ada lagi acara webcam karna gw lagi frustasi trus lu mau cheer me up. karna mgkn posisi itu uda diisi sama orang lain, yang jauh lebih pantas untuk lu.

more than just a pretty face

2009-11-03T11:26:00.002+08:00

Ever have that one person in your life that you just can’t give up on; the one person who can screw you over and over, time after time, yet you always seem to give them another chance? And no matter how many times you say this is the last one, you know that’s a lie because there’s always just one more chance waiting for them. The one person you know you’re better off without but yet you can’t find a way to let them go because deep down inside, you wouldn’t know what to do without them. The one person you know who doesn’t deserve you, but yet you choose to over look it because you love him.

http://runawaytrain.tumblr.com

I have.

2009-11-01T20:01:00.002+08:00

Kepada kamu,
Dengan penuh kebencian.

Aku benci jatuh cinta. Aku benci merasa senang bertemu lagi dengan kamu, tersenyum malu-malu, dan menebak-nebak, selalu menebak-nebak. Aku benci deg-degan menunggu kamu online. Dan di saat kamu muncul, aku akan tiduran tengkurap, bantal di bawah dagu, lalu berpikir, tersenyum, dan berusaha mencari kalimat-kalimat lucu agar kamu, di seberang sana, bisa tertawa. Karena, kata orang, cara mudah membuat orang suka denganmu adalah dengan membuatnya tertawa. Mudah-mudahan itu benar.

Aku benci terkejut melihat SMS kamu nongol di inbox-ku dan aku benci kenapa aku harus memakan waktu begitu lama untuk membalasnya, menghapusnya, memikirkan kata demi kata. Aku benci ketika jatuh cinta, semua detail yang aku ucapkan, katakan, kirimkan, tuliskan ke kamu menjadi penting, seolah-olah harus tanpa cacat, atau aku bisa jadi kehilangan kamu. Aku benci harus berada dalam posisi seperti itu. Tapi, aku tidak bisa menawar, ya?

Aku benci harus menerjemahkan isyarat-isyarat kamu itu. Apakah pertanyaan kamu itu sekadar pancingan atau retorika atau pertanyaan biasa yang aku salah artikan dengan penuh percaya diri? Apakah kepalamu yang kamu senderkan di bahuku kemarin hanya gesture biasa, atau ada maksud lain, atau aku yang-sekali lagi-salah mengartikan dengan penuh percaya diri?
Aku benci harus memikirkan kamu sebelum tidur dan merasakan sesuatu yang bergerak dari dalam dada, menjalar ke sekujur tubuh, dan aku merasa pasrah, gelisah. Aku benci untuk berpikir aku bisa begini terus semalaman, tanpa harus tidur. Cukup begini saja.

Aku benci ketika kamu menempelkan kepalamu ke sisi kepalaku, saat kamu mencoba untuk melihat sesuatu di handycam yang sedang aku pegang. Oh, aku benci kenapa ketika kepala kita bersentuhan, aku tidak bernapas, aku merasa canggung, aku ingin berlari jauh. Aku benci aku harus sadar atas semua kecanggungan itu…, tapi tidak bisa melakukan apa-apa.

Aku benci ketika logika aku bersuara dan mengingatkan, “Hey! Ini hanya ketertarikan fisik semata, pada akhirnya kamu akan tahu, kalian berdua tidak punya anything in common,” harus dimentahkan oleh hati yang berkata, “Jangan hiraukan logikamu.”

Aku benci harus mencari-cari kesalahan kecil yang ada di dalam diri kamu. Kesalahan yang secara desperate aku cari dengan paksa karena aku benci untuk tahu bahwa kamu bisa saja sempurna, kamu bisa saja tanpa cela, dan aku, bisa saja benar-benar jatuh hati kepadamu.

Aku benci jatuh cinta, terutama kepada kamu. Demi Tuhan, aku benci jatuh cinta kepada kamu. Karena, di dalam perasaan menggebu-gebu ini; di balik semua rasa kangen, takut, canggung, yang bergumul di dalam dan meletup pelan-pelan…

aku takut sendirian.

This piece is awesome. It touched my heart and when i read it, each sentence just felt so right, because, that was what i went through. Well, most of them. :)

The thing with writing about love, susah banget menulis tentang cinta tanpa kelihatan dangdut, corny atau downright menya-menye. Gw ngak mau nulis surat cinta seperti mbak mbak ato mas-mas pembantu rumah: "Kalau kamu madunya, aku lebahnya.." Hoek. Atau, "Kalo kamu jadi kumbang, aku jadi sepedanya.." Double Hoek.

For me, what I have with you now,
lebih dari analogi yang melibatkan serangga.

http://radityadika.com/

I just discovered something and ouch i think it hurts

2009-11-01T19:43:00.000+08:00

a little bit.

my definition of love is not in your dictionary

2009-11-01T15:16:00.002+08:00

Marcus: Kmrn halloween lu ngapain aj?
Candies: Ya belajaaaar! Ngapain lagii!
Marcus: Kasian deh lo.
Candies: Ntar deh taon depan. Lagian nga tau jg mau jadi apa.
Marcus: Errr...suster ngesot aja. kan cocok tuh sama lu. *ketawaketiwi*
Candies: HEH ngesot ngesot. muka gw terlalu imut buat jd suster ngesot.
Candies: emang kl gw suster ngesot lu apaan?
Marcus: *diem*
Marcus: babi ngepet hehe
Candies: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Dan sampe sekarang gw masih ketawa terbahak-bahak.

2009-10-31T22:14:00.000+08:00

I tell lies.
'I'm fine' is one of many

tell me what should i do

2009-10-31T16:06:00.002+08:00

Last week we got chased out because we didn't buy anything and we studied. Ok i understand.
....
.
.
.
.
Seven days later...
.
.
We still got chased out because we studied but we bought something. Ok i can't understand.

two beautiful lady stand before me, but i only have one photo left.

2009-10-30T00:24:00.003+08:00

There are a lot of things that I wish i could talk about here. I have a lot of things in mind and i can't seem to put the aside and prioritise my O level. And i don't know why i give up so easily nowadays. I hope it will soon be over.

Come on, tell me i'm strong.

Ps. my title is tyra bank's signature line hahaha

Mary had a little lamb

2009-10-29T17:35:00.003+08:00

Ok this is so funny i'm talking to Anita and she's at temple right now so i'm gonna paste part of our convo. No offense uh we were just joking.

Candies rocks your world says (5:34 PM):
sekaraangg
lg ujian
sampe tgl 13 nov
suruh buddha sm kuan ni ma berkati gw yee
supaya otak gw jln
[c=4] M s. D r A c U L a[/c] says (5:35 PM):
Tenang
Aku lg di vihara
Hahahaha
Candies rocks your world says (5:35 PM):
oh bagus
i know
hahaha
lu perlu alamat sing gw?
biar tuhan bisa locate gw?
ato nama skolah gw?
Candies rocks your world says (5:36 PM):
nomor induk gw?
[c=4] M s. D r A c U L a[/c] says (5:36 PM):
Ga perlu deh
Uda modern
Candies rocks your world says (5:36 PM):
ohh
okok
[c=4] M s. D r A c U L a[/c] says (5:36 PM):
Blg email lu aje
Candies rocks your world says (5:36 PM):
bagus deh

Translate yourself hahaha if you want.

Okaaay so, i have one good news to share. I'm offered a place in Trinity College in Australia. Of course i was like jumping inside and it only took merely one night for them to process so i was quite stunned. I chosed to major in commerce but i haven't get back to them to process it (of course) because i haven't tell my father about it. I wonder if i manage to get a scholarship will they allow. But the thing with scholarship, 1. its not so easy to get, and 2. when i get it, i have to maintain certain result. Of course you know i'm not that kind of student with consistency. So i kinda am contemplating. And being in a totally new environment? Come on... i never ever stepped my cute feet on any part of Australia. (hmm maybe the map yes, i put my foot on the map of aussie hahaha) I've got so much to learn and i think that's what i'm excited about and that's exactly what my parents dont grasp. Don't even talk about US or Canada. I beg for aussie until my lungs almost come out and my ear almost drop and my throat almost break. So...we shall see.

And O level, so far the papers are so-so. I don't want to talk about it. What's done is done. Right, probability? Haha. Okaay i just tasted the most horrible tasting chicken pasta yuck like dog food i wna vomit. Ewww hahaha i wonder why those girls like it so much...

Bytheway, i have an imaginary friend and her name is mary

baby i don't wanna risk it all for you

2009-10-27T18:09:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling rather emotional right now i know why.
I'm feeling rather lazy right now i don't want to study.

My name isn't actually registered because my IC doesn't match with the one SEAB has. I don't know how they are going to deal with it don't tell me i can't get my result i slap punch kick them. :/

My parents always call me after every paper and asked me how it went. I feel so blessed. Mom and Dad, i love you, you know that?

What I Live For

2009-10-25T21:57:00.004+08:00

Life, however fleeting, is governed by different desires. Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, govern my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and the unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me back and forth, in a wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

I seek love, first, because it brings ecstasy- ecstasy so great that I would sacrifice all the rest of my life for a few hours of this joy. I seek it, because it relieves loneliness-that terrible loneliness in which one looks over the edge of the world into a cold, lifeless abyss. I seek it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a small way, the image of heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I see, and though it may seem too good for human life, I will continue to pursue it.

With equal passion, I seek knowledge. I wish to understand the hearts of men. I wish to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Phytagorean power by which mathematics is superior to chance. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer. I have seen children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty and pain make a mockery of what human life should be.

--BETRAND RUSSELL

This expository is sp beautifully written. :) Good luck for angmoh paper!

this is it

2009-10-25T18:57:00.002+08:00

Thank you people, those who wished me all the best through any form. You guys don't know how much they mean to me. And i would like to wish all my fellow sec 4/5s all the best alsooo. :) Non Vi Sed Arte, yes? :)

2009-10-23T22:34:00.003+08:00

AHHHH. She's so rude to her parents and i can't stand it. She thinks the louder she gets the more sense she makes.

live as though heaven's on earth

2009-10-23T00:06:00.002+08:00

There are moments when I feel like I'm so prepared for O level until i don't know what else to do. There are also moments when I feel completely the opposite. I'm feeling unprepared right now. Oh my, english paper is what, 3 days away! Can you believe it? No. I can't. :( i feel like crying suddenly. I've been crying a lot lately. Hmm :/ You're so scary when you're angry.

I have zilch to say. Night folks.

Ps. Will mommy faint if i say i wanna go to Jakarta School of Performing Arts and major in Theatre?

tonight's gonna be a good night

2009-10-19T02:19:00.005+08:00

A quick update before i hit the bed.

China Airlines is in town, and he'll be here till Thrusday. We can't meet though cause i'm mugging. :( i guess, 6 december isn't so far, yes? My days are pretty much filled with studying and studying and studying. I'm trying my best to keep on track and not lose my concentration. I don't want my effort to go down the drain.

Oh well, on a brighter note, this is coming to an end in about 24 days' time. I can't wait! Hmm i wonder what i'll do after my last paper. Or rather how will i feel. I will tell you on 131109 ha ha.

It came back. I didn't know i can rely on someone so much that i didn't even realise it. You will never understand how i feel after that big turn. I just need...time. Well i shan't talk so much about it here. I'll just concentrate on Olevelz first and put everything aside. :)

Life's gonna be better. I believe so.

Perfection :)

Ps. Idk why there isn't paragraphs. Pfft this looks messy

2009-10-16T22:14:00.001+08:00

Someone that i used to love so dearly now disgust me. I don't even feel like talking to you now.

while he craves prentence, i'm losing all the attention

2009-10-13T23:06:00.003+08:00

You know how much i love my parents? When i told them my results are only improving slightly, and not to their expectations, they told me its okay and as long as i've done my best, they have nothing to say. I know that they'll be the next person after me, who'll be disappointed if i can't achieve what i'm capable of. They told me not to be too stressed out and just do my best. What upset me the most is the fact that I've not been trying hard enough.

I have oneee more chance. Just one more. I'm gonna make it right.

Btw, i see 11.11PM haha anyone missing moi?

i promise i'll be kind

2009-10-12T23:26:00.004+08:00

One more day, and my secondary school life will be over. Oh well, i'm not gonna say anything because even though how many times i rant, it will still be over and soon, everything will be memories. Exactly two more weeks to my O level, and roughly its about 31 days to 13 of november? I can't wait for 13 November! I've got so many plans, planned hahaha. Like, going on cruise (Y), chalet (isitonpeople), camp!, Russia!, Medan! and many many moreee.

How fast time flies. It scares me. I'm pretty sure there'll be changes, massive changes to my life next year. How i'm going to meet new people, gonna be exposed to more personalities and how i cope with my bitchy self. Hmm we shall see how things go :)

There are so many things to do! Well, not that they are due anytime, but i just want all of them to be completed before O's. Thousands of Chemistry paper, TYS-es, mass revision, and some english essays i haven't manage to complete. I think i haven't been able to think about anything else except for revisions and homeworks. But i know that things will get better soon, just in a matter of time. I'm trying not to complain here because it does no good.

And china airlines is coming on the totally wrong time.

Ps. Now i know that being good enough is never enough.

edit;
Mom asked me if i wanted to go Maldives for vacation, i say i don't want, she asked me why, i said, "I want to go there honeymoon with my husband" Then she laughed.

in her miracle mile

2009-10-11T00:59:00.003+08:00

Today's a good day. Today's physics day. Tomorrow will be Chem day!
And i bought something today i'm hepi. I'm finishing my laaaast physics paper CatholicHigh and i'm done, tmr will be chemistryy!

I'm sad. I was tidying up my closet and i realised i've lost many clothes and i didn't even realised it. Mom used to take down all the clothes that i have in a piece of a paper and i found that paper, i tried to find some of the clothes but they're gone. I recalled its kinda long ago so do you think i can find it again? Its weird, you see? I don't have to have to label all my clothes with C. But i'm losing my clothes. Remind me to stop buying clothes cz its bursting already!

Kk back to physicss!

he says he's so in love, that girl he talks about

2009-10-09T16:42:00.004+08:00

I feel sorry for myself.

ditdit;

Where is my minnie mouse?? says (5:25 PM):
soalnya cwe cntk bawa sial
Candies rocks your world says (5:25 PM):
HAHAHA
brarti gw bawa sial dong
sialan lu
Where is my minnie mouse?? says (5:26 PM):
lu kan ngk cantik
Candies rocks your world says (5:26 PM):
enak aja
Where is my minnie mouse?? says (5:26 PM):
ngk slamanya yg pcrn sama cwe cntk itu bakal bruntung
Candies rocks your world says (5:27 PM):
pokoknya kl yg pcran sm gw bkl hepi
baca nick gw
Where is my minnie mouse?? says (5:27 PM):
hahahaha
Candies rocks your world says (5:27 PM):
CANDIES ROCKS YOUR WORLD HAHAHA
Where is my minnie mouse?? says (5:27 PM):
hahaha
okeoke
Candies rocks your world says (5:28 PM):
nmnya minnie?
jijay bnr
Where is my minnie mouse?? says (5:28 PM):
yeah
nama wa mickey
Candies rocks your world says (5:28 PM):
JIJAY
Where is my minnie mouse?? says (5:28 PM):
biasa aja kale
hehehe
Candies rocks your world says (5:28 PM):
mau aja lu dijadiin tikus
Where is my minnie mouse?? says (5:28 PM):
hahahhaa
disney couple
Candies rocks your world says (5:28 PM):
JIJAY
Candies rocks your world says (5:29 PM):
kek gw donggg
barbie and ken
Where is my minnie mouse?? says (5:29 PM):
bluek!!

that's the best thing about tonight.

2009-10-07T00:11:00.002+08:00

Why do i find myself crying again after putting up for so long?

Yesterday was my girlfriend dione's birthday and finally she can watch the ugly truth. Good for her. We had crazy fun times just now hmm such a break from stressful o level. I really love good laughing-till-i-pee times with my girlfriends and the time we spent in chijmes was just magical and i'm sure she had a good time also despite us being a small group. sadly aby had to leave early but above everything, we had fun! photos and videos are with the birthday girl.

Birthday girl, i have a request. PLEASE, comb your hair, file up your worksheets properly, writing your essay neatly, sleep properly, laugh properly, don't fall off your chair anymore, and be less blur like your camera. Haha ok i love you yes.

Ps. When can things get better, seriously?

The bravest story ever told

2009-10-04T22:35:00.002+08:00

Yo sob. Happy birthday! ^^hope you enjoyed today and happy berry with the surprise. just one thing from me; be less disgustong.

Today was a success and thanks woman for mistaking me as a burglar. rly love you. :)

I lazy to elaborate, just that we went sentosa to play, then ate @ cafe del mar which btw there won't be next visit because the music made me giddy. then we rode the skyride and luge then they all went back, i took bus with bob to novena, then made my way through his house looking like a idk how to describe myself, then surprised him.! ok that's all for tonight. i'm gonna finish up my geog.

and i think i'll only be back after o level is over. gna surrender my laptop. unless i'm using my phone haha so yep, love you.

im tired of holding this inside my head

2009-10-02T17:58:00.002+08:00

My bang's back i'm so happy but it kinda irritates me when i'm doing my work. I shall see what i can do with it hmmm. :/

As you know there was an earthquake two days ago. I could feel the vibration but at first i thought it was just because i was writing too furiously and everything vibrated. Haha how silly. O level's in less than a month's time. Its okay i will do well, before i know it everything will be over. Ah, i think i should stop comforting myself.

Pfft how time flies. I'm graduating from Beatty soon. Idk what i'm feeling. Many many sad and happy things happened there. I wish time can just slow down, or come to a stop.

Anyway i'm pretty amazed with myself by how care less i am nowadays. I used to be bothered when i upset people or whatever, but now i don't find myself giving a damn, which is good because i can live my own life without putting others before me all the time. I'm tired of all the dramas and black faces. Maybe i should just quit trying too hard because i should've realised things wouldn't work out in the first place because people just refused to care. Not even an initiative. Well you know what, i don't care of what you think of me because that's your point of view and i can't force you to agree with me. After all this crap is over, I can assure you your life will be in peace because noone will ever, ever disturb you anymore and you can stay at your home sweet home all you want and idc. Kay? ^^ i can't believe i tried to keep things together for nothing. And i'm still accused. Or i'm not? Well again, its up to you. I don't care.

Do you want me to apologise for hurting your feeling? :) I will sincerely do so.

Ps. my heart didn't cringe like it used to anymore.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." --Steve Jobs

Do you know,

2009-10-01T01:07:00.002+08:00

that i love you because you aren't mad at me when i called you just to talk nonsense.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

2009-09-29T23:33:00.003+08:00

I think its important to be happy when we live, if not, what's the point of living then? I try to be big-hearted and forgiving.

And Oliv, i'm really truly proud of you, for being so composed and tough. I admire it because i took it really hard when i was in your position. Remember what i tell you, that people come and go, and that your life doesn't stop just because everything's not the way it was anymore. You were there when i need you, and listening so patiently for whatever i've got to say. So now, its my turn to be your listening ear. Don't ask me why but i want to say i'm sorry. :)

you, you are so last week

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”-- James Dean

what goes around comes around

2009-09-29T23:06:00.003+08:00

HUNGRY.
PISSED.
SLEEPY.
CONFUSED.
SAD?! (but why should i?)

I feel like Dora the Explorer. Webcamming with Joshua and he laughed at my fringe and called me candies the explorer. :( K fine i look like a nerd but whatever like dione has said, its o level year. But do you have to be so direct, Joshua?? And btw he's accepted in Uni in Aussie he didn't want to tell me which one. Hmm so secretive uh.

I need to gain back my motivation to study and open the textbook. Subject to buck up on, Physics (*****), Amaths (***), Geog esp human (**), Chemistry (****), English (*****) and that's basically almost all hahaha whatever. I still have time.

But i still can't quite decide on where i'll be going after beatty. I mean, i never put much thought into this and now then i realised how close it is to graduation day. I'm going to miss beatty. Maybe i shall discuss this further with my parents? I shall see.

OH AND BTW, my uncle's here so i won't be going for night study(again) because i'll be having dinner with them tmr. :)

shall hit those books now.

when you feel like letting go

2009-09-28T23:15:00.001+08:00

My wallpaper. SCARED or not? Ha ha.
He's so cute ^^ aw

i've seen love die way too many times

2009-09-28T18:39:00.003+08:00

When things go insanely out of control and it sucked so bad it hurts you, just remember that one day, somehow you won't feel the same way anymore and perhaps it will make you feel many times better. Turn that into your strength to conquer what's coming you way next. Let the feeling sinks in and let it go when you can. You won't know what's happiness like, if you never feel downcasted before. Love, afterall, is not blind. It's understanding.

Well, i'm not good with words and that explains why i never get an A for english language, but i just want to say that we should be more aware of our surrounding. While you think your life suck so much and you are the most pathetic person in the whole planet Earth, think again. There are many people out there who don't even know when their next meal will be. They are so poor they don't even get decent meals. Yet people who speak Crystal Jade don't even turn a hair when they see this people. Some even give the 'are you kidding me?' stare when people along the road asked for donations. I mean, how poor can you get if you spare a dollar of two for these people? Sometimes its not because this people are too lazy to work, but they are choiceless.

It hits me hard when i was having lunch with mel dione and quek, we were eating happily when this grandma approached us and offered us packets of tissue. Well, i thoughtlessly ignored her and said no. But mel decided to help her and bought the tissues. It never occured to me how hard it is for her to make ends meet, and i didn't know she'd be so grateful for a dollar. I promised myself from now onwards i will start to help the needy ones :)

Aren't we people lucky then? We don't have to worry for our basic necessities, some people even have ten pairs of Jimmy Choos, those 'you name it i have it' bags, and yep food. Those money spent on the labels can actually feed the whole village in Brazil for one whole year.

Talk about contradictions, well, i have what i want, and i will mostly have what i want. I think my life is luxurious enough for a teenager like me. I have marvellous parents and people whom i love, loved me back. My friends are all the good vocab you can think of. What more can i ask for? We have proper bathroom to channel our waste, we have clean water supply, something that i believe all of us took for granted.

Now, i am not capable of feeling like my life is a void without him anymore.

I don't find myself crying like a bimbo whenever things don't go my way. I always try to believe and believe that at the end of the day, things happen for a reason. Someone always told me, 'Don't trudge your way through a shopping mall like a bimbo thinking to yourself like you're the prettiest girl around. Know more about the world, fill yourself with knowledge and never look down on people'. I guess i know that the person was trying to tell me now.

I've grown up, haven't I? :)

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." -- Albert Einstein

living life on a fast speed

2009-09-28T15:38:00.003+08:00

I'm thinking of closing this blog down. I think my life's too exposed and i tend to blurt everything out here. Come to think of it i don't want some strangers who chanced upon my blog to know so much about my life. We shall see.

because everytime i'm with you, i feel like the world is ours

2009-09-27T15:48:00.002+08:00

hey benzonoic acid happy birthday hope u enjoy your day :)
thx for the time we've spent together and for being such a friend :)

study hard!

cause i've been hiding all night long and i gotta get next to you

2009-09-27T00:52:00.002+08:00

we had this crysanthemum advertisement scheme hahaha

i really love this one credits to bobby :)

and this one

The rest are in fb i lazy upload hehehe night folks!

while i walk down the street where you live with love in my pocket

2009-09-27T00:11:00.002+08:00

Just back from picznicz haha its fuuuuun and there were like F1 so we could hear the sound hahaha and when we went to singapore river the sound was so deafening. couldn't even see the car. idk why there're so many people there.

i feel like uploading piccas but fb's still uploading and if i upload here its gna be double slow so next post maybe? I'm so tired after all the walking and worry D:

Um, i know this sound a bit selfish but, why is everyone using BlackBerry nowadays? I don't like it when i'm on mrt and the person beside me's holding the phone exactly like mine. Wew i wanna change to PinkBerry. Ha ha its now as common as crysanthemum tea. :( K but i'm not changing cz its still alright. Whatever. Stick to the term the more the merrier. At least i've gotten bored of it when people are still excited haha. :P

And oh stef will know what i'm talking about but, cannot be right? I mean its like last thing that i'm gna do but why am i falling for that now. no right? cannot be maybe its just temporary and no no its not like what i think its gonna fade i believe and i hv to try hard this is only a funny joke kk love love no. i don't.

you know i'm suffocating but i blame this town why do i deny

2009-09-26T12:44:00.005+08:00

:) i forget to say something really pleasing and cool and yawwwww. You know how i said ytd was a shitty day, but i realise it wasn't totally shitty. Because i got A1 for physical geog despite thinking that i'd do badly for the paper. Yes of course not the satisfying A, but if not because of that stupid misconception i'd have scored far better. I lost 5 marks which is equivalent to 10 marks so yeaa see the difference ouch. Hahaha ok i'm happy. I hope my human geog is better! :)

And today is Saturday! I woke up early like a bird who catches the sunny worm! Then i met Will bcz he was supposed to teach me. Its so cool i mean i understand much better and we took two hours. Couldn't really feel it cz we were engrossed with the settings and stuff so yeppp i'm happy today!!! Thx lotz for sucha gd and patient friend haha. (honestly i'm so slow i think if i were him i would've slapped myself) Hahaha

& Ng Julius Alexander Winata is here(again) i thought he was supposed to have school idk why he came. So noisy haha luckily i've finished my prelim. and you know i thought he was nice, he said he brought me smth from KL, then i was like super excited what was it, and you know what he gave me? A PLASTIC LIZARD. Hmmm i wonder if he's being an understanding or annoying friend. k lets just take it that he knows that i hate lizard so he gave me that to familiarise myself with lizard?! wth but yes hahahaa.

I feel like i'm writing english situational writing. oh speaking of that, i'm so happy i got 20/30 for my situational writing! Cool ayeeeee. :D:D:D:D:D:D I really think i improved since mid year and i'm quite please with myself. Quite. Yep.

Anyway, i should bathe.

Ps. have you got enough sleep lately?

he calls a spade a spade

2009-09-25T22:14:00.003+08:00

Heyo today's kinda a shitty day. Let me tell you why.

1. i bought bubble tea and just left without paying. the people who queued behind me all laughed. thanks.
2. when i was on the bus, i stood up to alight at aby's bus stop and then i realised its not my bus stop then i talked to myself, 'eh this one not my bus stop what' then went back to sit again. i saw someone quietly laughing....
3. i lost my lens cover @ science centre. searched high and low for it, ran around the gallery but i couldn't find it. oh well, will says i can buy another one.
4. how careless can i get.

Anyway, yep as mentioned i went to science centre with tri, michelle, erin, bestario, and eric?! ok sorry i forget his name but yeah we went wild-exploring in the gallery, and there were really amusing games and facts, we wandered around until we were the last group there. i lost my lens cover yea i'm very sad :( then tuition. then i'm here.

I'm bored. i still i'll study la huh. super bored and idk what to say. I haven't got back many papers and i'm quite anxious. My blood's thumping.

Okay bye and i hate you

Read it with my eyes closed

2009-09-24T21:12:00.005+08:00

Ok hi i feel depressed. Idk why i scored so low for physics. But i should've expected it though. I found it hard, so yes. Anyway, William will be teaching me how to use the cam on sat cz apparently i'm too stupid so haha yep i'm kinda excited because i very eager. ?! OK whatever.

I hope, tomorrow will be a better day.
(What period tmr?????) :(:(:(

PS. I am proud of myself for not crying. I hope i won't make a scene tomorrow. Seeee, i've grown up.

edit:
project runwayyyy!
Then america's next top model

everybody's looking for that something

2009-09-23T23:32:00.003+08:00

Maybe one day, this will eventually comes to an end. I really hope so. I'm sorry for being such a hard-to-please girl, but after everything, i'm sorry i just don't feel any single bit better.

Sigh, i gotta believe.

Anw, results will be back by tomorrow i swear i feel like skipping school but yea haha look at my attendance...no way. I'll just hope for the better. Told myself i can never hope too much, but then again, i find myself choiceless except for hoping. I'm getting good at that.

❤
❤
❤
❤
❤

if the people stare, then the people stare

2009-09-22T21:04:00.002+08:00

One more paper and i'm done with Prelim.
I can't wait for tomorrow.
I'm not studying. I have no mood.
Just pray that i'll be able to think tomorrow.
It sucks when i feel so sucky suddenly

edit;

Candies ; UJIAN SIALAN says (9:58 PM):
lu ke sono tgl di hotel apa?
Andand he moomoo tail gaychick say 'moooooooooomooo' says (9:59 PM):
Bvlgari
Candies ; UJIAN SIALAN says (9:59 PM):
huh
itu kan nama parfum
Andand he moomoo tail gaychick say 'moooooooooomooo' says (10:02 PM):
Kan ada nama hotelnya.. Hotelnya baru.. Paling mahal di bali..
Candies ; UJIAN SIALAN says (10:02 PM):
terserah la yaw
Andand he moomoo tail gaychick say 'moooooooooomooo' says (10:03 PM):
Ngk lah.. Ngk mungkin tinggal sana.. Tinggal semalam buldoser daddy hilang.. 1 malam 80jt..
Candies ; UJIAN SIALAN says (10:04 PM):
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA
jadi lu tgl dimana?
sontoloyo

This is for you, my brother.

2009-09-22T01:18:00.004+08:00

This boy can be a real pain in the ass. He can make me feel so angry because when i got angrier he got happier and he's good at giving excuses. He's really naughty he can do things that never cross my mind. He's so unbelievably playful that sometimes i didn't quite believe it we're siblings.

But above all his unruly self, he's a boy with a big heart. He's forgiving, and gentle. Sometimes so wise that i'm amazed at how grown up he already has. He does things that people don't expect him to, and is always full of surprises and well, nonsense.

He's lively and always the clown. People like to be around him. He has throngs of friend and very, very likeable. He's just like my father. He makes friend with everyone. Be it young or old. He is forever full of crap, and sometimes he makes me smile. He's such a great great brother. And come to think of it, i think i'm the worst sister in the whole entire world. He's always the one giving in.

He didn't say a word when my parents get unjust. Always so calm and lovable. Although sometimes annoying. I'm so touched by some of the things that he's done for me. When i was sick and i refused to take my medicine because it was downstairs and i was too lazy to take it myself, he went down to take it for me and force me to eat them. And when something happened to my brother he would get all panicked and worried. He's really a wonderful boy. He's never ashamed of bringing my small brother everywhere he goes when everybody else thought it was uncool. He didn't mind spending his saturday with my brother. Something that i can't afford to do.

Such a boy, doesn't deserve to be treated that way. He deserves a lot a lot better than that. Don't ever think of hurting or toying him. OVER MY DEAD BODY.

You're a great brother, Andrew.

and i love you

2009-09-20T22:32:00.002+08:00

Honestly, i can't take this anymore.
What has got into me?

I need to call agnes.

edited.
Well, i didn't feel any better. Too much have been going on. It sucks when i have no idea what to do next. And talking to people who intend to make me feel better did otherwise.

Where he travelled time, the future of mankind

2009-09-20T01:52:00.005+08:00

Hello people how was your saturday? Mine was great with Popeye's wife. Went to Vivo then to Sentosa for picnic, we then watched Songs of The Sea(nice!) and then went to Orchard to catch The Time Traveller's Wife and now i'm back. I won't go into elaboration and more pictures are on facebook. Like, by tomorrow? Haha
Ps. Do u realise we've got the same thing on our retarded head? And that my fringe is super weird? Haha and excuse my weird face.

We were on double decker and i wanted to take picture of the driver

sin2A= 2sinAcosA

2009-09-19T01:39:00.003+08:00

Picnic w Popeye's wife tomorrow yay yay we're gna have lotza fun fun fun!
It feels super good because, i get to catch up w her, and she's someone that i can tell almost everything to. And she owes me many stories (:
It also feels so good now because Anita is coming like, yay in the afternoon but i'll only meet her on wed but yay can't wait! And i miss her lahzz!
And it also feels good because today's papers were a breeze and yep hope i can score well.
Last but not least, i feel good because i'm crapping w Junia the hongkong girl hahaha *inside joke* and yepp she's in love he he he. Well, i'm genuinely happy for her.

And i miss my primary school classmates btw so random haha but yeah, some of them changed a lot esp the guys. Haha considering we used to play hide and seek every recess and our funny way to buy our food think about it, it was quite cute, how we would ran down so fast we could beat the speed of light, and tossing out money and say 'Uncle uncle one packet!! now!! ME FIRST!!' and the uncle will be like, 'haiya one by one la'. I still remember one packet of rice costed about Rp 3500. Hahaha and i used to think i can survive with Rp 10000 a day yep gullible eh? And i rmb hw we used to cheat during major exams and our subject teachers would be behind the invigilator giving us answers hahaha and we would stack up newspapers and foods so that the invigilator would sit down and we can cheat. We would use all sorts of sign language and eye contacts ahahha i miss primary school. Then we would all talk in hokkien even during lessons, and the teachers explained in hokkien and yep i would always get punished and stand in front then my teachers used 'Simon says..' to punish us. I wish i were back there! :( hahaha

Ok idk why i talked about my primary school friends. We should have our reunion soon! oh and also reunion with my kindergarten friends! Facebook rocks i tell you haha.

edited:
I'm sorry but i have to say this.
He is my brother and noone knows him better than I do. And you guys have no idea what he went through because of that...whatever. You guys, have no right. NO RIGHT AT ALL to judge him and talked bad about him because you don't know him. You mean you're actually so naive you believe just because she cried and complained about him. Don't you ever consider my brother's feeling? HUH? Do you know how much he likes her and he gets into freaking troubles with teachers, my mother, friends just because of her? And yet he's misunderstood this way? Don't you ever think that perhaps in a relationship there should be both taking and giving? Don't you think it needs sacrifices and honesty to make that work? I mean if you're that childish you shouldn't commit into a relationship even. I love my brother and please, find out the truth before staring like your eyeballs are gna pop out okay?

Cry in command

2009-09-17T20:01:00.002+08:00

Hi. Emaths2 and Chem1 tmr. I'm studying. Not like quek whose watching bleach now.

Today's papers were...idk. History was quite alright just that i rushed my SBQ so idk if whatever i've wrote made sense. Amaths was a no comment paper. haha i mean, i did everything and tried my best to know what the questions were asking but idk if my guesses were smart enough. Maybe just a bare pass, or maybe a fail. I don't know. I don't want to screw tomorrow's paper. who wants it btw.

So yes, i'm tired. This week's crazy. But next wednesday everything will be better.

but he likes to speak- and loves to be spoken to

2009-09-17T01:22:00.002+08:00

A message with 29 letters, 6 words and a smiley face simply brought my mood up. :) How can I overlook this for so long?

Thank you for being there always. I'm so lucky I met you, and can call myself your friend. ^^ Thank you for building my confidence and having faith in me. You make wonder.

make my heart thumps 7,8,9

2009-09-16T16:43:00.001+08:00

Hey I just woke up from a real deep and sound sleep. And I'm still yawning hahaha ok I feel asleep with my hist textbook on my face so nw my nose's kinda deformed. Anyway, after tmr it'll be so called a phew since...hahaha I'll only be left w four moree papers. Hang in there!! And I'm gonna get my sleep during the weekend man I don't care. Wassup w me?! I just woke up -.-

Anywayy urm I wanted to join my big happy family for bali trip but I decided not, because only two nights eh, go for whut. Then yep furthermore anita's coming yay yay I'll be meeting her on wed, right after paper yo haha so excited alrd!!! Miss her uh.

Ohoh haha my papers were quite alright I guess. But I'm quite sure I won't do that well in physics or I might even fail because about half of the answers are hunches so yeah haha but then geog was quite okay I hope it will secure me an A ok I studied geog like mad, ask those who witnessed it, urm my room hahaha. But it was quite dumb cz I thot the paper would end at 1230 so I took my time but when I realised there's only 10 min left I almost screamed. Hahaha ok phew luckily I didn't.

So,,, tomorrow's history japan babyyyy haaha and cold war. Fidel castro. Love him so cute! And amaths I haven't touch ehhhehe.

And I think I shall stop complaining on how schoolwork and exams are burdening me because geography insights 4 tells me that more than half of the population in LDCs don't have adult literacy rate. To put it simpler, they don't get a chance to step into classrooms, get scolded by teachers, sleep in classes, and get to know what's the amazing thing about this world we're living in. Well I shall count myself lucky because I get the education many of them are willing to die for, yet I'm complaining. So, study hard and make a change for the world. No matter how small that change is, you'll learn from it! :)

Last one, urm I watched the news and it was said that the economic recession's over with many major corporates having a drastic increase in the market sales or smth like that I hope I get it right hahaha. And, why isn't there any more news on H1N1? U mean no moree? Like, the virus died? How?

Eh eh what u study for history ah?
Hahaha

you fondle my trigger then you blame my gun

2009-09-16T00:33:00.000+08:00

Heyo urm haha hi.

What a day. I left w two more chapters in physics then I'll have to read thru geog agn. I need to do well for human paper bcz if not I can say byebye to my geog. There goes my A.

I'm thristy btw. And I'm too stressed I don't even have the mood to stand up and walk a few steps to take a sip. Its almost one and yea. Sleepless night.

Ohoh btw my phone battery ok alrd! It actually survived the wholee of today and still have more then half. Haha so happy ^^

U know what? I should go back to physics. Workout. :)

as I craved sacred attention, you could hit me all the while

2009-09-14T22:17:00.003+08:00

DOES
ANYONE
KNOW
WHERE
I
CAN
GET
BRAIN
JUICE?

I NEED ABOUT THOUSAND GALLONS. OH NO! MORE! CZ JUNIA WANTS THEM TOO.

Ps. This is solely for MONICA JOHAN. sayangg what happen to you, talk to me eh. Urm hehe after prelim gw ya :D love you.

You forget the truth that lacks lyricism

2009-09-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

Hi. Watched Scary Movie 4. It wasn't scary, but rather disgusting haha. Yup i wasted my time but its okaay. Hahaha and guess what i watched Boys Over Flower just now and hmm still don't find it interesting. Ok then yea left twoo more chapters for Chem and yay i'm doing amaths later then tmr will be emaths day. And chem of course. I feel like dying.

Annnd yea i'm hungry hungry but its 0000! So yea omg means prelim's tmr! D: Okay stop scaring myself and uh byebye did u enjoy ur date btw?

the lonely nights divide you in two

2009-09-12T20:13:00.003+08:00

Hello. So here I am, declaring that i'm doneee with Physics except for the Thermal Properties of Matter, the chapter i hate the most, Hahaha now i'm moving on to chemistry. Buuuuut, before that, i'm taking a break. I wanna watch a movie. Ok a real short one. Give me til 9.

Did you enjoy your day? I don't. :(

Longan eh eh

2009-09-12T16:26:00.006+08:00

Heyyaaa i was telling quek i'm hungry and hungry then haha when i turned around i saw a cup of fruit ice on my table and my guardian say, 'yours' i was like hehehehehehe saliva dripping and its damn nice :D yawyaw

Then ytd went dinner w Novi she bought me a packet a candies (hahaa me) she said 'cz u study then u like to eat eat' aww so sweet ^^

Candies ; www.beattysecondaryschool.net/moodle says (4:26 PM):
tell u a
story k
V&Q.H&M says (4:27 PM):
okay , haha. what story
Candies ; www.beattysecondaryschool.net/moodle says (4:27 PM):
in the
night i hear them talk coldest story ever told. some where far along this road,
he lost his soul to a woman so heartless.
V&Q.H&M says (4:28 PM):
you're an ass candies !
hahaha

While someone's on a happy date enjoying the time, i'm at home studying physics. Oh right a date with physics. Jealous much uh.
Ohoh excuse my ugly fat face.

LMAO

2009-09-12T02:36:00.004+08:00

[c=#B3B3FF]-[c=#FF6666]A[/c]-[/c] says (2:12 AM):
well
everything's bullshit to me right nop
even physics, which used to be my fave subject is like, * graded
now*
Candies ; www.beattysecondaryschool.net/moodle says (2:13 AM):
now seventh month right
u call georg ohm
[c=#B3B3FF]-[c=#FF6666]A[/c]-[/c] says (2:13 AM):
yep
Candies ; www.beattysecondaryschool.net/moodle says (2:13 AM):
ask him teach u physics HAHAHAAHHAHHAAH
[c=#B3B3FF]-[c=#FF6666]A[/c]-[/c] says (2:13 AM):
pardon?
[c=#B3B3FF]-[c=#FF6666]A[/c]-[/c] says (2:14 AM):
whose that
Candies ; www.beattysecondaryschool.net/moodle says (2:14 AM):
a very famous physicist?
[c=#B3B3FF]-[c=#FF6666]A[/c]-[/c] says (2:14 AM):
oh.
Candies ; www.beattysecondaryschool.net/moodle says (2:14 AM):
the one who came out w ohm's law
[c=#B3B3FF]-[c=#FF6666]A[/c]-[/c] says (2:14 AM):
might as well call einstein or newton or something
Candies ; www.beattysecondaryschool.net/moodle says (2:14 AM):
but he's older
more experience HAHAAHAH
i
Candies ; www.beattysecondaryschool.net/moodle says (2:15 AM):
am calling mother teresa
[c=#B3B3FF]-[c=#FF6666]A[/c]-[/c] says (2:15 AM):
what?
==
ill just call my mother.
Candies ; www.beattysecondaryschool.net/moodle says (2:15 AM):
HAHAHAH
easier uh
[c=#B3B3FF]-[c=#FF6666]A[/c]-[/c] says (2:15 AM):
yep.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA okay i forget something Happy Belated Birthday Yohanes Aditya whatever whatever. Ur name very long and yes sorry i forget to wish u hahaha but better late then never right. GOOD. :)

And oh oh remember my stupid personal recount of challenges in life? She said it was well done HAHAHA i was like,'are you serious? this is the crappiest job i've ever given you' then she was like, 'yeah thanks for admitting but it was really a good job' ok maybe i shall try to adopt the habit of doing a 15 minutes essay :D Wew its funny when the saying 'expect the unexpected' is actually very unexpected.

Quickquick quek quek

2009-09-11T15:26:00.003+08:00

I have tuition in half an hour's time :D I don't know why i'm looking forward to it weird eh. And worse i haven't learn those vocab she's going to test us later on. But nehmind. Oh i woke up really late today. I didnt know why i auto woke up at 10.24 then i felt quite awake but then i forced myself to sleep again hehehe then i just woke up ard almost 2.

I wasted my time reading story book, then i did my crappy personal recount which was completed in only 15 minutes hahaha i bet she's gonna go on fire ok shhh don't tell! Yea then now i'm moving on to industry.

Today's to do list:
geog industry and tourism
complete physics syllabus
revise organic chem
sleep :D

I'm planning to sleep early tonight. Need to adjust my biological clock. I dont want to end up suffering from insomnia on sunday :) i'm loving today already hahahaaha

Anyway i think to sum up this week's holiday, i spent everyday with stef except for today i'm hell damn bored of her hahaha. My holiday was productive, i studied and revised and improved hahaha. I'm getting the hang of everything...almost there. This week just zooms by and opposite-of-phew, prelim's there. I have to do well. no more disappointment like Mid Year. I will because i believe (:

Thank god i have you to go through this with me, every single day and night. :) Your support means a lot.

Party like a pigstar

2009-09-11T02:30:00.005+08:00

Hey i'm just done with revision haha finally some lists ticked off. My life's at its peak now i guess oh well i need to catch up with things and brush up with topics that i'm weak in. Unfortunately that's quite some bit so yes, i've been revising like some mad cow and for once i don't yearn for a break because i think i don't deserve it now. Maybe until this whole thing's over, i'll get my real life settled :) i know i can do this. I'll prove them wrong.

Before i know it everything will be over. There's one thing, one major thing that i need to do before i take off from Singapore. And then i can close 2009 properly. Phew this year's crazy. It felt just like yesterday Mom and I squeezed through the smelly crowds just to see the fireworks and we hugged each other when its 2009. Now...we're coming to the end of 2009. Almost.

Anyway, some updates. My family will be going to Bali the end of the month and I'm quite jealous but let's face it i have prelim and i'm not gonna say anything because i can do whatever i want after o level. At least until i get into school which idk where and when hahaha.

Sometimes i think i don't spend enough time with my father. Everytime i'm back in medan, he's away most of the time. Sometimes he went overseas for business trip or sometimes when he's in town, he'll be super busy. I really miss it when he'd come to my room and chased me to sleep with my mother because they just had a tiff, or when we'd watch football together, or when i laughed at him because he cried watching taiwan drama, or funny things like that. Everytime mom called me, they'll always be in my parents' room with my brother, and i feel a twinge of jealousy. Why are they together while i'm here alone. Well, then again, i have to accept the condition. oh and there's a lizard on the wall crawling. and its getting nearer to me!!

Today i learned to let things and people go.
Remember our wonderful memories, but please don't be afraid to make some more.
My life don't stop here. You may be the best, but you're not the only one.

Ps. One thing up on my calendar; school's starting on 14th of sept. which means prelim! YAY ftw

Ohhh and dek, don't get upset k. You deserve better :) you hensem sure many many pretty girls like you! don't get too carried away i love you dear.

2009-09-10T20:15:00.000+08:00

Wth I'm so pissed. I feel like slapping and throwing just about everything. I can't concentrate studying. The tv is so loud outside and they are laughing like idk what. This is so not a condusive place to study. And when I go other place to study they thought I go to play and yadayada. And idk what to say also later they say some stupid things again. :(

And u knw wht, dinner sucked. In fact, recently the food sucks. I was like, wth so I only get to eat potato and some funny looking vege and toufu for dinner? And yet when I eat outside they told mom I never eat home and blablabla whatever u can think of.

I shall get back to physics and do my english tuition hw. Idk why I'm doing english when there's still lots to do for maths.

I shall go and die.

Heart for you

2009-09-09T22:57:00.002+08:00

Hehehehhehe this is the 090909! I thought of making a post today. :)
Sooooo, yes. Actually i lazy to type la. Urm, walked home from novena to trellis. I stink now ew.
I'm quite sleepy. But i need to finish up geog food. Left with the revelutions and GM food. k bye,

Copper can't react because its unreactive

2009-09-08T23:49:00.003+08:00

A random thought: Tomorrow's 090909, i'm sure many people will commit into a relationship by tomorrow. Expected right. People will say, 'Our story starts on 090909 until forever when death tears us apart' HAHAHAHAHAH whut i just find it funny oh shit chipmunk's disturbed.Shhhh!

Okaaaaay that was just...out of boredom. Anyway, today's quite a productive day! I studied physics, did maths and chem. Oh my i know it's dry, i'm just talking about revision every now and then, but that's what i'm doing nowadays. I don't have anything to blog except for revision.
:( or you want me to make up some interesting life adventure? I'm pretty creative. I can just i just came back from rock-climbing, to Mt Everest and i just put Indonesia's flag at the peak and sing the national anthem there hahahahahaha. Or i can say....i just came back from Papua New Guinea, i made friend with some tribal people, and the leader of the tribe wanted me to marry him HAHAHAHAH okaaay this is getting nowhere i should stop before i burst out laughing!

>.< Aw cute face!
Okaaaay i spend my wholeeeeeeeeeeee day with SKJ and i'm bored of her hahahah. From yesterday manz. And we realised we can't not text each other for at least a day, and two days ago we tried, she said she didn't sms the whole day HAHAH. And we went to Marina Barrage to see some people that has so much free time flying kites, we were jealous (ok at least i was) and then went to studyyy and so yea i didn't do any 'XXX' stuff hahaha because i cancelled my tuition today.

And YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
Its 090909 THE BIG DAY! Omg i expect ALL my 14 boyfriend to say 'today's our day!' and yea i'm gonna upgrade it to 20. 090909 eh, must have at least 20.

Please don't take that seriously hahahahahahahahahaha
Anyone ditembak? I'M SURE THERE ARE! I BET!
Ok this just shows that i'm jealous HAHHAHA

Mine will be 101010. Cooler. Yuck means next year i still single almost the whole year ah? Go die la/

I knew you were a liar from the start

2009-09-07T21:53:00.002+08:00

Hi roar today's internet is damn slow and i hate it. I'm just online to check something and i guess i just can't sign out this com w/o blogging hahahaha. Ok, you know what, my hair is dripping wet and i think i'm going to stef's now. I'm staying over today yay yay ok hahaha to study. :)

Annnnd today went library to study with the isomers quek and dione. Quite productive eh. Did quite many many things! :D I'm trying not to give up because its less than two months away i can do it right. After this is over, at least i can sit back and relax for awhile its been like roller coaster uh don't you think so O level muggers?

I shouldn't spend more time here every seconds in my life counts HAHAHAHAH kbye.

Ps, Some people just talk as if they own the world

I'm healthy

2009-09-06T14:34:00.001+08:00

Chipmunk's out-for once- and i can study beybeh!!
Gna use this time to its fullest. :):):)

Adios!

:(

2009-09-05T16:30:00.004+08:00

Gosh this stupid house just doesnt allow me to freaking study. How am i supposed to study with someone giggling away and loud TV noises? Ughhhhhhhh. I want to die.

Not to be self-centered but i wonder why she didn't go back to medan this holiday. i just need a quiet place to study. not with occasional giggles to accompany my studying sessions. and living room isn't an option either. if i turn up the music, i'll end up singing along. Okay so how.

Flower blossoms at three pm

2009-09-05T02:26:00.004+08:00

Well i know i just posted something moments ago but i just want to share something.

I am just amazed, so amazed at how mature and grown up some people are. How wise they are, and how they always, always are able to see things from the positive and bright sunny side. They appreciate life and always are living it to the fullest, taking every setbacks and challenges as a pathway to be a better person. I'm so bewildered at how their words impacted me so much, that they become my inspiration even though i don't know them well but deep in me, i know their words make sense. I'm amazed at how modest and unassuming they are, and yet they sound respectable and actually outstanding.

Life taught me how to be introspective and carefree, and just move on. And just to take things one step at a time, and to always, always believe that things happen for a reason. It taught me to be tolerant and compassionate, and that i can't please everybody in this world and sometimes, just to be a little selfish, and give myself something i deserve. And also, not to take anybody for granted, because people come and go, noone stays by my side forever. Not even my soulmate. I just have to count on myself and believe in myself. And sometimes I have to accept nasty remarks because that's how i learn and improve. And most importantly, cherish people that i love and i have, because we might not know what happen tomorrow and the next.

Of course, believe that sometimes letting go might be easier than holding on.

Well i think that's my definition of life. What's yours?

Faux reaction

2009-09-05T01:39:00.003+08:00

Hello this is candies!

Anyway, went to orchard to meet Lia just now and um we had ayam penyet as a late lunch then headed to taka for a walk, then went back for tuition. We were trying hard to keep my tutor back because we were waiting for Jess. Then they came and we celebrated teacher's day with her and she kept thanking us andd pictures are with Jess so i'll get it from her later i guess. Then yea.

And anw i guess bobby's right. Maybe i'm too sensitive. :) i love you still uh.

I think i had a great friday, what about yours?

It just becomes reality

2009-09-04T15:28:00.004+08:00

Sorry if I misintepret your action but, am i not your friend? I mean, how long have we known each other, and you think i'm that sort of person? You refrained yourself from telling me happy news because you thought i won't be happy for you because i'm not happy myself? You think i'm that pathetic? You kept such a huge news from me, such a happy news, just because you think i won't feel happy for you? I don't know, if you're being understanding or being insulting. DO I seem like that kind of person to you, that i won't be happy for others? And you think i'm that pitiful, so selfish that i would say,'don't tell me, you're making me sad.'?

Weren't that you who said that we'd share with each other, happy or bad news, tears or laughters, punches or kisses? Even if you want to keep it unknown, don't i deserve to know? Or am i expecting too much just as a friend? Well i want to keep those negative thoughts aside and just...think that maybe you forget or somewhere along that line. But oh well fine, i won't talk about it anymore. Just gotta swallow it.

The Black Army

2009-09-03T23:21:00.003+08:00

HAI HAI hahahaha I only studied one chapter for SS which is Bonding in Singapore and omg it came out i was like, 'YESYESYES!' hahahaha i was so happy. But then i didn't have time to finish SBQ so yeah whatever.

Anyway after exam, went to stef's to make vincent's scrapbook and it turned out daaaaaaaaamn nice, ouch i should've taken picture of it but it was really cool hahaha i wanted to keep it for myself. annnnnnnd his bday suprise went verrrrrry well all thanks to the white army people!

there were two groups of us. the black and white army haha. :)

sutrisno came and then met widjaja and owen @ toa payoh, went to bugis to meet kurnia jaya, lisa, and muljono. went to V8 for dinner. ordered bday icecream then yeaa blablabla, stef and i excused ourselves then we ran to library to meet fernando and merilla. told them the plan and we went back. then yeayea stef said she wanted to return book so we walked our way to library and went we reached then there they were with the cake. i think it was quite successful and i'm relieved hahahaha.

today was fun and yes, i hope they had fun too.!

I'm eating right now. Wow my appetite is really good nowadays. Did i say, i ate two rounds of dinner ytd. and i ate sirloin steak w strawberry float just now, and now i'm eating again. shit mom forgive me plz. bye.

Play with my hair

2009-09-01T21:54:00.003+08:00

Candies ; Wake me up when september ends says (9:52 PM):
can throw me some flamboyant phrases
V&Q.H&M ; oh no it's english says (9:53 PM):
let's see how bombastic i can go haha. give me some normal simple sentences
Candies ; Wake me up when september ends says (9:53 PM):
ok lets talk in sophisticated english
She's a bitch
V&Q.H&M ; oh no it's english says (9:53 PM):
she's a bee-yotch. lol

Hahaha valerie the cute hueimin for you.

Anyway, woke up really early today and i went to airport to send my friend back. He came last week but we hadn't meet so I forced myself to get my ass off my comfy bed and rushed to changi. We had a quick breakfast and then he went off. Its okay there'll be another meeting. I came back so quietly that i don't think chipmunk even realised i went and came back. Hahaha okaay i'm playing 'sophisticated english game' with quek. Its quite interesting

here's a good one.

Candies ; Wake me up when september ends says (10:14 PM):
hahaha
okok
now's my turn
Candies ; Wake me up when september ends says (10:15 PM):
Candies is a pretty girl
V&Q.H&M ; oh no it's english says (10:17 PM):
sheer ugliness of her face was enough to send even strongest of all men into a state of unconsciousness
how was that ?
hahahahha
Candies ; Wake me up when september ends says (10:18 PM):
GO DIE LA
V&Q.H&M ; oh no it's english says (10:19 PM):
THE SHEER BEAUTY OF HER FACE WAS ASTOUNDING. NEVER BEFORRE HAVE I SEEN SUCH A FLAWLESS COMPLEXION. THE WAY HER BUSHEL OF DRAK BROWN HAIR BILLOWED IN THE WIND BEHIND HER, THERE WAS ONLY ONE PERSON WHO COULD FIT SUCH A DESCRIPTION. THAT PERSON IS, CANDIES
BETTER? ahahahah

Oh man i love this

Man i should have

2009-09-01T01:36:00.000+08:00

I was studying outside in the living room then my hand got restless and went to open the drawer and i found that. Feel like i've accomplished a treasure hunt. Imagine if i actually fill that in and and got the number yawyaw me can be rich nehs! Hahahaha OK cut the crap

Should i study DD or Venice.

You decide, because

2009-09-01T01:09:00.002+08:00

Sometimes its not about what you want, dear.
Sometimes its about how you regret after doing so.

Speak these words

2009-08-31T23:52:00.006+08:00

I have this retarded personal expository homework due this friday and i don't have any faintest idea how to construct a proper paragraph for a personal expository because the last time i wrote personal expository was during the cannibal period. Haha okaaay but i really don't know how to. I'm stuck. Oh well, what are the challenges you face in life? There are many i can think of easily but i don't know how and have i overcome it. Suck.

Annnnnnd not only that, i have to write a personal recount yawyaw. Okay this might sound easier but no. Apparently she says i have been writing personal recount in a very narrative style so she wants me to write it appropriately, which means, less flowery and less dramatic. Well it seems easier but i have to pay constant attention as to not go too...narrative. Thanks.

And i have the whole vocab book to stuff into my tiny petite brain hahaha. Sad thing, my brain is the only thing that i can describe as petite. Oh probably my toes. Hahaha my cute little petite toes. Okay where am i going to. Back to 'life is full of challenges and yes i love this life much'

edited.
One hour later....
O
M
G
I AM DONE WITH MY
PERSONAL EXPOSITORY
AND ALTHOUGH ITS CRAPPY
I AM STILL CONTENTED BECAUSE
I'M DONE!!!!!!

okay not personal recount. ew i feel so personalised.

i always hear you say

2009-08-31T21:17:00.000+08:00

Oh, well, wow. I'm...surprised. yesido.

Try

2009-08-31T00:51:00.000+08:00

No use having someone who don't cherish you, right?

Right. :)

When then?

2009-08-31T00:12:00.004+08:00

I bet all the pure geographers spent their sunday studying geography insight from page 122-168 right. Well, i didn't. I spent mine making cards for my dearest teachers with my dearest stefanie kurnia jaya and i really think its all worth it. I mean, i know i still have tmr's concert to glance through it and i think i'll do okay because i've studied it before.

hope the teachers like our card! Because if i were them i'll love it. And btw, Alex went back this morning, even before i was awake i think, and i'm quite dejected. I didn't say a proper goodbye to him cause yes, i was quite pissed with him ytd night so...i don't know. Perhaps there'll be another meeting, yes?

Bytheway, tmr's teacher's day, and i'm supposed to be excited, but i'm not really. I'm quite sad la cz our class didn't make it to the concert but don't you think we deserve a slot because all we wanted is to thank the teachers, something that they totally deserve? I don't know. I hope those people in charge made a good decision and maybe tmr's performers will be able to convey the message better i guess.

and thankfully mon and nov are coming back so i think that'll make my day, but arwin's not. :( i'm quite sad la bcz mon and nov, i can see them anytime and they live close to me, we can always go to shaw mac and talked like nobody's business. but this busy friend of mine, we don't see each other often and its been long since i last saw him. he's always so busy and buried with homeworks. i don't know...probably well, not tomorrow :)

Ps. Because i'm afraid, so afraid that i can't see you anymore.

Butterfly wings

2009-08-30T00:41:00.002+08:00

Mom and I, we came to an agreement. I won't share what, but i'm pretty satisfied. Well, afterall, she knows me best and obviously she wants the bestest of the best for me. Therefore, i trust her fully. :)

And Olivia, i didn't know you had this thought until when you told me blatantly just now. I thought you're someone that only know how to have fun and yeah, maybe rant. But you just showed me how thoughtful you actually are. I'm sorry to have a wrong impression on you and as i always always tell you, i'll be there whenever you need me. Even though we may not be with each other forever and ever, but i really hope we stay friends forever, like what you said. And i believe we will :) Because you're one of the best friend i've ever made. And i love you just as much.

Ps. because you used to hold my world together.

Paper heart, acrylic love

2009-08-29T21:37:00.002+08:00

I'm back! Went out with Olivia just now and had g8 time with her. Its been reaaaally long since we last went out and catch up with each other's life. Cool. Watched Coco Avant Chanel just now. Erm it was my first NC16 movie and tell you the truth, if this is what you call NC16, then i think i won't wanna watch NC16 anymore. Boring much, because it was almost two hours and i couldn't survive so yea but the last part was quite cool. I think UP was far better than this.

Anyway, walked ard Orchard with her and bought some stuff. Ate and we went home. I didn't study today sad sad de nehzz. Nehmind i'll study tonight and tomorrow promiseeee. :) Its okay i need a getaway. Love you liv!

Bytheway, i don't know what's with me and studs nowadays. I just loooooooove them so much. (Zara's so studdy now lurb lurb)

i wish i were 21

2009-08-28T18:41:00.002+08:00

Because as much as i hate it, but its still happening. I'm having tuition in about 47 minutes' time and i feel like puking suddenly. I don't wannnt. I want to study my other subject and not waste my time there just listening to...okay fine i shall stop.

I'm sleepy plus lethargic. And i need something colddddd to drink. Okaaay i actually have nothing to blog about. I think Oliv's watching Orphan w Alex and William. IF ONLY i don't have tuition, i'd have flyyy there and meet them. Shucks. Its been long since we had our HUA reunion. Since Alex is here, i don't know. He'll be gone by Sunday so yeahh.

And you know what, i miss that venus man. Haha okay only I understand who venus man is. :):) DINNER Y.A.Y!

Its called destiny.

2009-08-27T23:41:00.004+08:00

:) I studied finish Tourism today. I'm glad i started my revision in time and now i'm quite quite confident for prelim, that i'll probably do well. Okay maybe not so because I still need to practice and kill the laziness. I'll keep trying my best and yep, I'm so happy that finally i'm healthy.

Hello physics let's make friend now. I know you, but don't know you that well yet. By the end of this week we'll become BFF k! :D

At least i don't rush like Mid Year and i really hope i can do far better in prelim and prove my parents wrong. I want to let them know that i'm not here only to play, have fun and waste money. I want to let them know that i'm not growing lazy and taking things easy. I want them to know that my thought isn't that shallow anymore.

I promise myself I'll treat myself like a princess for ONE day if i do satisfyingly well. :)
I can do it! Because i believe. (:

Ps. chicken backside isn't coming back and i havent see him for quite some time alrd. ):

you're already the voice inside my head

2009-08-27T02:24:00.001+08:00

My 1000th post! I guess my plan to make it about 'the end of O level' failed anyway hahaha you know i can't resist the blogging world rightz hahaha.

Erm i'm so sorry if you're irritated with my rants i keep complaining to you that i'm pissed blablabla i think its just PMS and i'll be ok soon haha i will be i won't get pissed anymore. :):) you know who you are and yes yes luv u girl.

Ps, and when we spend time together, it felt like the world was ours :)

To be happy,

2009-08-26T23:13:00.003+08:00

People, i want to ask you something. What does happiness mean to you? What's your definition of happiness? Is it seeing somebody else's big smile? Or is it when you finally get what you want? Or when you know you've done the right thing? Well, everyone has different definition of happiness. A little girl can be happy when she's rewarded a barbie doll, a man can be happy when he gets promoted, parents can be happy when they see their kids settling down.

Think of it, isn't the world full of happiness then? For me, as long as i'm doing things that i enjoy, i'm happy. We live and learn. I want to learn how to be happy always, i want to be able to see things from the positive side. I want to be a better person. (:

As long as you believe, my dear.

dahulu,

2009-08-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

Well, I realised I can't totally leave cyber world. I still come online...secretly haha. Gawd I'm addicted already. And I gulped a can of nescafe just now but I'm sleepy alr. Gawd I think my body is immune to it already. What to do... its the only thing that can keep me awake.

Btw I'm outside @ the living room studying. Reason being if I study in my room, my bed will tempt me to sleep and there I go to the lalaland. And anw, my fasting today went well! :D. Although my stomach was aching like crazaye, but I still managed yo. I couldn't sleep so I studied. Am so proud.

I guess I'm just being PMS-y nowadays haha every girl has it so yea pardon me yeayea. And oh well, people change, don't they? its inevitable, even though I hate this fact so much. setbacks are meant to make you stronger and braver. And now I learnt how not to take promises too seriously, because when hopes are scattered its just gonna be another disappointment. Well, I mean someone's gonna spill the beans one day and people will know who I am talking about.

Snuggled up in my bed and all I could think of was you :)

if only we're not miles apart,

2009-08-24T16:42:00.000+08:00

Heyyo I'm hungry. But I'm waiting, patiently waiting until dinner time because there's tuition today so I'm gonna bathe now and start studying for chem. There're ten chaps yow. And btw I'm using my phone its kinda cool it feels like I'm texting. Anw, I made the unbreakable vow that I won't come online unless its necessary like e-learning day. And that's why I'm using my phone because I'm in the toilet and I'm bored yo. Hahaha ok gtg now and baitheway, I'm fasting tmr w brenda heheheh.

Sorry that I took you for granted. I didn't know what a great friend you are until now that you've got some1 and you know...we kinda drift apart. Its not like you're technologically inclined. Its so hard to reach you. Doesn't mean there's a change in your status, it has to affect our friendship, right? I've got so many things to tell you.

never believed that things happen for a reason

2009-08-23T21:55:00.003+08:00

U know u just can't absorb anything anymore when you realise just a sound of people sighing or TV in the living rooms distract u so much you keep reading a particular paragraph repeatedly but nothing goes in. Then u know u're in deep trouble and that u're annoyed.

I think chipmunk is sick. I hope my immune system is strong enough. This is not a good time to fall sick. I've been studying since afternoon. I'm puking real soon. Especially when my brain isn't working well. Oh gosh i have so little time left!

If this is what you want, you know i can do nothing but to follow your will because this is what i grow up doing right. U always get me to do and decide whatever you want at the end of the day. I'm tired of arguing although i know i have a valid point. I'm staying in Singapore.

2009-08-23T18:48:00.002+08:00

I'm studying relax. No more slacking around. And btw this is my 994th post. I want my 1000th post to be on the end of O level. So, you know what i mean right. Till then,

Jujur aku tak kuasa
Saat terakhir ku genggam tanganmu
Namun yang pasti terjadi
Kita mungkin tak bersama lagi
Bila nanti esok hari
Kutemukan dirimu bahagia
Ijinkan aku titipkan kisah cinta kita selamanya

exothermic ew

2009-08-23T16:13:00.002+08:00

Okay, i suddenly don't know how to start my post. D:
So ytd, as expected, i woke up late and rushed like mad to Fort Canning Park for food bazaar. I'm really lazy to elaborate but then after that went to PS to buy Oliv's present. Went home, rushed for her card and everything, i think it was pretty! But then i couldn't finish because Nadya came and we were late alrd so yea. But i left halfway to meet Novi for dinner and came back, i saw Olivia alone like, cleaning up the mess whereas the rest sat on the grass patch and mingled. So i helped her and, yes i could tell she was disappointed with her day. I shouldn't have left her. I felt so bad. We cleaned up the place and i helped her bring her stuff back.

Then met stef and she gave me a pie! Then we talked and talked and talked our heart lungs brain liver kidney bladder pancreas intestine out until the thunder came and we went into my room. She slept on my double decker bed which she claimed was damn nice and i slept below. she left earlyyy in the morning and i woke up later to finish up oliv's card then went her house and then came back i study and not really study from just now not even a chapter haha then yes yes me is going to study yesyes.

Oliv,
No matter what happen, no matter how unhappy you are, no matter how everybody put you down, you know you still have me here okay. You know those setbacks make you a better and stronger person. Its your life and noone's capable of bringing it down. I know you're stronger than this. I'll be hereeee! :)

i know u want me to know

2009-08-22T03:39:00.000+08:00

Yo. I'm still alive :)

Say goodnight

2009-08-22T02:47:00.004+08:00

First thing first, i'm really terribly sleepy. But its almost 3am and i'm not sleeping. Because Novi is occupying my bed HAHAH. She came, then we arranged puzzle yongwei gave me as birthday present! Its like cutee man and we took two hours to do it so now she's friggin sleepy and me too but i don't want to sleep cz i wanna do homework but i guess i can't yea because only one question and i KO alrd :D so now here i am, blogging.

I eat sour plum to keep myself awake. Then we'll go for breakfast @ Mac and yawyaw then i go back home asap to sleep sleep yeaaa :D Me is bored rightz nowz noone to talk to because the whole town is probably sleeping yea. & yea, its half closed. But i'm trying hard not to fall flat on my table.

Sorry i wasted prolly one minute of your life. This is just to keep me awake. Nothing important yow. Hahaha facebook is dead too, for the first time HAHA. Anyway novi is like dead. Not moving at all. Okay okay i'll go back to my puzzle in disneyland :D

Keep you updated

The sky has lost its colour

2009-08-21T20:51:00.001+08:00

Gosh don't ask me why i'm at home nao while i was supposed to...oh well nevermind. I'm quite pissed but its noone's fault its like a miscommunication so yeah well, its okay since i'm able to complete my rev ex 6!! Mr Ng must be very proud of me because i always do his homework and am sooo passionate about maths. Rightz.

Novi my saviour called and i'm flying to toa payoh now! (I thought she's supposed to have tuition?)

And yes! I can finally fly off from my boring house and ugh just one momentz escape from jungle of chipmunks ew.

Whose the sexiest man alive?8

2009-08-21T18:42:00.003+08:00

I lost my clark kent. :(
Btw, clark kent is the name of my calculator. I'm using paris hilton now. And and you know haha because i couldn't sleep just now and i was bored and lazy to do homework, i took down all the items that i purchased this year, and tried as much as possible to remember the price. Well i had a hard time because some i don't even remember how much so i just anyhow throw in some amount. I calculated them with paris hilton (that's when i realised i lost clark kent) and...haha i just hoped that paris hilton was so shiny that it calculated wrongly. Haha i wouldn't mention how much la huh. Its only for me to know :) But i was quite surprised though.

And today's Jess birthday so happy birthday helm. Oh well, she isn't helm-y anymore hahaha. Anddd haha cz you know just now it was raining lizards and cockroaches right, and i just took my oral on tuesday and i lazy to put in my file, i put in my front pocket and when i was searching for my wallet i saw the state and condition of my entry proof, i dont know whether to laugh or cry. HAHAA totally...terrrible and hopeless. I laughed in the end though.

Tmr will be oliv's bday and haiz i haven't buy her anything and idk what to get her and nadya isn't replying me so i totally have noooo idea. Like, she's got everything. And you know when you buy a birthday present for rich kids uh, there must be standard right. So idk haha me is poor nehzz.

And oh, i think my eyes' degree increases linearly yow. I have to squint my eyes to look at those emaths revisions answers on the screen projector because its small and my eyesight is getting worse. I don't wanna admit it but i promised mom that i'll go for eye check up asap because i dont want it to get worse.

And oh, Mom registered me to Trinity College. Well, its a college for foundation in Melbourne before i get to enter Uni in Aus. I decided to take interior design because i just love cozy bedrooms and posh living rooms. I'd want to design my own house later and also design for people to give their house a 'home' feeling. Those feeling that when you step into the house, you wouldn't want to go out again :) I'd love to become an interior designer. So yes i'll have to work my butt off for prelim and get accepted and i'm settled. Okay not quite because Mom wants me to go for JAE as well. Idk i guess she prefers Singapore than Aussie. But well, we will see. In the end i'll have my say because i will be the one going through it and i'm sure she'll understand, right?

And oh i'm hungry peko peko

Its friday and i'm at home blogging. Yaw my life rocks man!

I need someone

2009-08-20T20:26:00.003+08:00

I'm so dead because i just woke up. I shouldn't have slept. Ahhh and now my eyes are red and i haven't bathe and i have homeworks and revisions. Please, let the time pass slow slow today ah.

I hate identification of cations and anions. Its like...so impossible for me. Okay less talking and more action. Btw, i stink hehehehe.

And and ugh, i left my ipod in school. I was listening to it during...iforgetwhatperiod but then it was assembly and lunch so i forgot to put it in my bag so yeah i feel so sad sad de nehhz. I hope it'll be fine. I hope it won't cry without me hehehe

BYEE!!

We'll still have the summer anyway

2009-08-20T00:02:00.003+08:00

Hello. Changed my blog skin and i had a hard time adding all the gadgets but it turns out pretty well so i'm quite pleased with myself. :) I'm sick of those blogskins that i just need to copy and paste. Besides i went to search but there weren't any nice ones so i guess this will be it..for the time being hehehe. And the picture...i got that from tumblr.

And chinese result was out just now right i mean on wednesday. (i just realised its past 12) I'm quite glad i couldn't stop screaming. And and you know my bet rightz i have to kiss someone. Hahaha k.

Anywayyy i thought we don't have maths tmr so i didn't do any maths but shoot we have 2 periods tmr can go die la. I haven't do chem papers, and maths blue book. This is what happen when I don't have tuition. :D

And anyway i ate so much today sorry mommy don't panic k. Eating isn't sinning but AHAHAH i remembered Lia's oral conversation, she said she felt guilty because everytime she's stressed she'll eat. Haha i couldn't stop laughing man.

I studied Chem today quite good eh 2 chapters then flipped through SS :)
I've started my revision people! Have you?

PS: MY IPOD IS WORKING!!!

)&^&%$$%^$^%&(&)(

2009-08-19T20:11:00.002+08:00

I hate it when a blog is full of vulgarities. Like every sentence sure have one.
It is not cool yo.

PS: Chipmunk sleeps at 8:12 :D

You're indeed the best i ever had

2009-08-18T21:47:00.004+08:00

Remember how i used to tell you things that were bothering me and you'd calm me down and then i'll forget about that and everything seemed better when i know you'd be there for me?
Remember when i got worried and tensed you'd always tell me that it's going to be okay and what's done is done and i'd do just fine?
Remember how i used to tell you things that were happening around me and sometimes you'd laugh at it but sometimes you took it too seriously i was the one who laughed in the end?
Remember how you cheered me up and you got so panicked when i cried and you crack not-funny-at-all jokes that made me cried and laughed at the same time?
Remember how you were so annoying when i asked you to say something you said 'something'?

You may not know this, but i hope, i hope if you're reading this, you know that those memories may fade with each passing days, but it will stay with me forever. That you did much more than what you thought for me. That...you mean a lot to me. That although maybe we won't see each other anymore, i hope we stay friends forever. That you helped me see things in a whole different perspective.

I used to share my anxiety with you, how nervous i was because of a particular thing, and you reassured me that i thought too much. I always came to you, because i know you'd make me feel a lot, alot better. Because i realised, i depended so heavily on you, your opinions, or your words.
Chinese result tomorrow. What do you have got to say?

ima acidic oxide

2009-08-18T21:10:00.002+08:00

I look like this. Its bcausee Mom forcefully cut my fringe and its now so super short i can't take it so i just pin it up. Save me from trouble. I look like i'm in pain but oh well, i am.

Studying chem. And my ipod is still not working. Shoot.

yours truly
cantyl sutantoate